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X-Mas in S-Pas

by Greg Sgammato

LYRICS

Mary (Where’d This Baby Come From?)

 

We walked and walked for miles and miles and finally made it

We asked the inn if we could crash, but they forbade it

The baby’s coming soon, and we need to get a room

But there’s one thing you need to tell me

 

Mary where’d this baby come from? Don’t say “I don’t know”

And who are these three guys who brought you frankincense and gold?

I feel like there are things that make no sense about your life

You can trust me baby you’re about to be my wife

 

I don’t like how the animals surround that kid

I guess we just lucked out this shepherd owned a crib

Something is smelling bad, am I the baby’s dad?

I think I could forgive you if you told me

 

Mary where’d this baby come from? Was he magically just born?

And who is this guy coming down here blowing on his horn?

If I’d have used a map instead of following a star,

We could have gotten help, but instead here we are

[Guitar Solo]

 

If people knew the truth, this story’d be explosive

Jesus Christ, what kind of name is that? Let’s call him Joseph.

Since he’s the son of God, do I still need a job?

It would be nice if you could tell me

 

Mary where’d this baby come from? Seems like everybody knows

What other baby you know is born wearing all his clothes?

I forgot to get a gift, it’s December 25th

Oh no, our son was born a Capricorn

Rudy’s Got A Red Nose

 

Rudy’s got a red nose (x4)

And it glows when it snows

Rudy’s got a red nose

 

Old Santa had an issue with visibility

The clouds above had made it really hard to see

He called on Rudy to pull the sleigh

And the red-nosed reindeer would lead the way

Dasher and Dancer, you know how it goes

Rudy’s got a red nose

 

Rudy’s got a red nose (x4)

And it glows when it snows

Rudy’s got a red nose

 

Though getting presents round the world was the only goal

Rudy’s now the most famous in the North Pole

The other reindeer’s jealous of his rising star

But they’re lucky Santa Claus can’t drive a car

Prancer and Vixen are average Joes

Rudy’s got a red nose

 

Rudy’s got a red nose (x4)

And it glows when it snows

Rudy’s got a red nose (xinfinity)

Capitalistmas

 

This year, I want more than I’ve ever had before.

And I’m spoiled to the core so take me to the store

 

I don’t care if the times are hard,

I’ll make it that much harder for you

If you don’t let me celebrate Capitalistmas

 

Buy a car, buy a boat - one for everyone you know

Do it all, just for show; to prove that you are made of dough

 

You’re better off spending what you’ve earned

And forgetting all the lessons learned

From every year you celebrate Capitalistmas

 

It’s everybody’s favorite holiday

A secular celebration that’s three months long

And I’m a caroler, so selfishly

It’s the only holiday that’s left without a song

This year, I want more than I’ve ever had before.

And I’m spoiled to the core so take me to the store

 

You’re better off spending what you’ve earned

And forgetting all the lessons learned

I can’t wait to celebrate Capitalistmas

Christmas in South Pasadena

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, who needs the snow?

Our sky is bluer, our hills are greener,

And the neighbors stop to say hello

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, Santa’s on his way,

Up North again, but he told all his friends,

He’ll be back by New Years Day

 

In line to buy my presents at the farmer’s market,

I heard carols on the radio.

About angels and babies and virgin ladies

And nights so long ago

 

But no one sings a song for us in South Pas

Like they don’t even know that we’re here

Maybe they hate the way we celebrate

Our favorite time of year

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, who needs the snow?

Our sky is bluer, our hills are greener,

And the neighbors stop to say hello

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, Santa’s on his way,

Up North again, but he told all his friends,

He’ll be back by New Years Day

 

I love the trees in the Arroyo Seco

A winter hike through my local park

So much to see, why don’t you come with me?

It’s starting to get dark

 

Let’s take a walk through town on El Centro

See the lights on Fair Oaks Avenue

I’d love to meet on Mission Street

And go anywhere with you.

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, who needs the snow?

Our sky is bluer, our hills are greener,

And the neighbors stop to say hello

 

It’s Christmas in South Pasadena, Santa’s on his way,

Up North again, but he told all his friends,

He’ll be back by New Years Day

He’ll be back by New Years Day

Seven Fishes

 

I got crabs, I got mussels,

I got lox and lots and lots of other fish

I got shrimp, shrimp scampi,

And if I get any more I’ll need a bigger dish

 

I got sole, or is it flounder?

I got so many shells my mind’s starting to spin

I got halibut and tilapia, no vegetables or b-roccoli-uh

It’s all part of being Italian-American

 

Who said we had to eat this stuff?

It’s time that we all call out “ENOUGH!”

 

I got crabs, I got mussels,

I can only count to seven on Christmas Eve

Let’s go to mass, uncomfortably

And we’ll stink the whole place up until we leave

 

We get home, smells like the ocean

And a garlic butter bath that we all took

Tomorrow we’ll have fun again, hope we all learned a lesson

It’ll be a while until we wanna cook

 

It’s the feast of seven fishes; say your prayers, make your wishes

While we pretend that we can speak Italian

It’s the feast of seven fishes; say your prayers, make your wishes

While we pretend that we can speak Italian

I got crabs (x5)

Ding Dong

 

Ding Dong Ding Dong

Ding Dong Ding Dong

 

When the Holidays are coming, I like to sing a song

There aren’t many words at all so you can sing along

Pretend you are a bell, and you can never right it wrong

The only sound that you can hear is ding and dong

 

Ding Dong Ding Dong the easy Christmas tune

Ding Dong Ding Dong it will be over soon

Ding Dong Ding Dong a better way to say

Ding Dong Ding Dong a merry Christmas day

 

So if you don’t like singing, you can be a bell

And ding dong all the day away – you will do quite well

You can do it softly too, no need to scream or yell

If it lands you in prison, you can do it in your cell

 

Ding Dong Ding Dong the easy Christmas tune

Ding Dong Ding Dong it will be over soon

Ding Dong Ding Dong a better way to say

Ding Dong Ding Dong a merry Christmas day

Ding Dong Ding Dong the easy Christmas tune

Ding Dong Ding Dong it will be over soon

Ding Dong Ding Dong a better way to say

Ding Dong Ding Dong a merry Christmas day

Ding Dong Ding Dong

Ding Dong Ding Dong

Ding Dong